Empathy Will Save Us All

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the type of person who feels things very deeply. Whether I was born that way or it was a bit of nature and nurture, I can’t be sure, but I do know that I’ve always been mindful of how others feel. I can relate in times of happiness - hearing good news from a friend is just as thrilling to me as celebrating my own wins! For example, Sami and I have both struggled with stress from our full-time jobs over the past few years, but when she told me about her new (less stressful) job, I was elated! I know exactly the toll a stressful job can take on your mental, emotional and physical health and while I may still experience some stress at work, her win has given me hope for my future as well. I can’t say that in times of sorrow I can feel another person’s sadness the same way they do, that is impossible, but I can relate with the sadness I’ve experienced and truly hope that my friend, neighbor, whomever, has the strength to make it to the other side from where they are now. Loss, though relative, is something that we all experience at some point.

And this empathetic nature of mine even worked its way into changing how I see other creatures. I’ve always been an animal lover, but as my frontal lobe fully started to develop, I asked myself why I was so quick to kill bugs? Just because they’re weird looking? A little creepy at times, definitely crawly, but what makes them “bad”? I won’t go as far to say I love them now, but I am Team Catch in a Cup and Release Somewhere Else if possible. After all, aren’t we all a little weird, creepy and crawly in our own way?

Included in my love for animals, I’ve always been a dog girlie. The only scar I’ve ever gotten was after I watched Disney’s 101 Dalmations. I loved it so much, I was crawling around on all fours barking at my sisters for days until I crawled right into a wall and sliced my head open. Realizing I couldn’t safely transform into a dog, I decided to love the ones I had as pets a little harder. When I became an adult and got my own place, that naturally meant I needed to adopt my own dog. Enter, Beans, the actual love of my life. My tether to this world! It may sound a little dramatic or cringe, but I would die for him. A few years ago, he tore his ACL and had to sleep on the floor for 8 weeks and that meant I was alsosleeping on the floor for 8 weeks. I know his love is so pure and kind in the way he acts like he hasn’t seen me in years every day I get home from work or the way he could take flight with his tail-wags every time I talk to him. I know he loves me just as much as I love him and if all I do in this world is make him happy, that’s all I could ask for.

These big emotions are going to be part of me forever and they can sometimes be overwhelming, which is why I turn to music to help put everything into perspective. It all started with the first album I ever bought with my own money: …Baby One More Time by Britney Spears. The joy I experienced when listening to it the first time was only amplified with each listen and, oh, how I am notorious for being a music repeater! Fast forward to junior high, I saw some pretty big changes at home and I was feeling lost and alone. I listened to The Fray’s How To Save A Life album on repeat for a whole bus ride from PA to Washington, D.C. On the outside, I was completely emotionless, but inside I was a mess and the comfort of that album was the only thing holding me together. A couple months later, I was at a school dance and the DJ played “How To Save A Life” as the last song for the night. Suddenly, a big group, at least 10 or more of us, formed a circle (which later morphed into a hug) and just sang along together. I’ll never forget the feeling of being wrapped in a sea of arms and looking up and thinking, hey, maybe it is going to be okay. I might feel alone, but clearly I’m not.

I could give you endless examples of this, curate playlists of the music that helped me through the good times and the bad, but what happens when you suddenly lose interest in anything that makes you happy? Especially music? Not because you’ve lost your love for it, but simply because you don’t have the capacity to enjoy it anymore. That is what happened to me for most of 2024 and 2025.

When Donald Trump announced he was running for president again, I was, at first, indignant. I genuinely didn’t think we, as a country, would allow a convicted felon to run in an election, but apparently, not only was that allowed, to some it was celebrated! Every day of the campaign pushed me farther and farther away from myself. And I tried, I truly did, to remain positive. There was (and IS) so much in our world that outweighs his negativity, but it can’t erase it. I tried to rally myself. If you read our last few blogs before our break, you know I even volunteered to work as an election officer. I wanted to control that outcome so badly, but as an individual, there is only so much you can do. Humans are a community-based species and we can only enact strong and lasting change together.

Since I couldn’t control the outcome of the election, I became consumed by the headlines. Which is exactly what they want from us — to be perpetually overwhelmed. I literally became addicted to checking the news multiple times a day. And at my worst, every hour. I was absorbing each attack on our democracy like a sponge until it made me entirely numb. Sure, I started off angry, but then I was sad - mourning the future we could have had. Eventually, that all turned to numbness. I wasn’t really feeling anything other than, maybe, sick, and I certainly didn’t reach for music to soundtrack my emotions. I went from a full 8 to 10 hours of Spotify-listening every day to essentially none. I leaned into podcasts more because I could check out when I listened to them. There were voices to keep me company, but I didn’t care about the words they were saying. No lyrics or thoughtful melodies to complement my emotional tone. I was having none of it.

Even making music with my best friend didn’t light me up the same way it used to. I just think of how giddy and hopeful I felt when Sami and I were college roommates (it’s making me a little misty remembering it now) , having our frequent philosophical talks in the dark of our dorm room, shouting from one bunk bed to another. Sometimes scored to music! I remember one night Sami pulled a “me” and played “She Looks So Perfect” by 5SOS on repeat while we went through our nightly routine. We turned the lights off and she said “Okay, one more time!” It was on a similar night, while replaying Twenty One Pilot’s newest release, “Fairly Local,” a band that we had fallen in love with after seeing live for the first time, that we dared whisper to each other, “You think we could make music ourselves?” YES, I screamed internally. And so began the story of L!LAC.

If you’ve been following us for a while, you know our music is centered around mental health. If you’re new here, welcome! That’s our thing. Our journey in music has had its ups and downs in the few short years since we’ve started, but we were each trying to learn how to deal with our own mental health struggles and it led to us writing some pretty vulnerable music. We took on the role of the artist rather than listener, so we could express how we were feeling in a way that others could relate too. We hoped people would listen to “Hello, Friend” and realize they weren’t alone or “Tangerine Tea” to recognize that no matter how deep your depression, there’s always something that can bring you out of it. We empathize so much with our favorite artists and their music, that we wanted to be the ones to provide that source of comfort too. But even that felt out of reach in 2024/2025.

If you can’t acknowledge how you are really feeling, what chance do you have to turn it into something useful?

I’m happy to say that feeling deeply was probably the thing that got me out of the funk. However, I took another detour through rage/anger because I saw how others were being impacted by the actions of the administration and wondered how anyone, supporter or not, could still think that was (and is) acceptable. The corruption, the greed, the inhumanity! In addition to the unjust abduction of our immigrant neighbors, we’ve also witnessed the murder of innocent people, immigrants and US citizens,with striking HD, multi-angle video evidence! Don’t forget about the “detention centers,” which is just sugarcoating their likeness to concentration camps. People are being held with no due process, limited or no access to medical care and there is zero transparency. As a country, we are being buried in national debt and are personally experiencing an affordability crisis. Oh, and we’re in a war, nay, a “military operation” that we have no business being in. Members of our Navy are without food and basic toiletries, some wanting to jump overboard just to escape the conditions. All this, while the top 1% manipulates the stock market to become richer, with the inside help of our very own mentally and physically deteriorating leader.

We can shout at the top of our lungs about the horrific things happening all we want, but until it starts to directly impact certain groups of people (who thought they were immune to these plans in the first place) there will always be a level of ignorance. However, the door to the echo chamber has already slowly started to open, or at least the window has been cracked. Take, for example, when John Gannon’s Venezuelan fiance was detained by ICE. He personally is an old, well-off white man and lifelong Republican. His soundbite about the incident went viral when he said “I wouldn’t do that again, not after this fiasco,” referring to voting for Trump again as he did in the 2024 election. The truth is revealing itself after years of them trying to hide or quiet the voices of dissent, making us think we were in the minority. Donald Trump has the lowest approval rating of any US president, outdoing himself even in his first term! MTG and Tucker Carlson even walked their support back. Everyday the house of mirrors is getting a little more wobbly.

It’s these atrocities that really ask you to redefine the American Dream and future of our society through a modern and honest lens. What makes an immigrant neighbor or person of color different from anyone else? Their skin color? Their economic background? Their religion? When you check your own privilege, try putting yourself in their shoes. What would YOU do in their situations? It’s the very least you can do because it’s foolish to think that what happens to them will have no impact on you and that you would be immune from the same treatment. If you don’t think that’s acceptable for yourself, guess what? It’s not good treatment for anyone. At the end of the day, we are all humans and it is up to the rest of us to be loud in opposition to anyone that supports fascism because this fight isn’t over. We’re at our strongest, our most powerful, when we remind ourselves of who we are. Don’t let them put you in the “funk”! Be loud, be angry! And I know, it’s easier said than done. I lived it. But, I’m telling you, your true power is in your ability to feel for others. It reminds you that you aren’t alone. It reminds you what is worth fighting for. And you’ll never experience the truest joy without also understanding someone else’s suffering.

We just released a whole song about this very topic, called “Trending Crime.” You can check it out here. Lastly, I’d love to know what songs have become the soundtrack of your life! Give me the song for the happy moments, sad moments and anything in-between. What are you listening to in order to cope in these dystopian times?